First, the joy of victory. Then, yeah, the agony of defeat. But you gotta wonder who was the dumbest in this tragicomedy: a hyperopic bank official, or the customers who thought they could get away clean with easy money.

This instance of idiocy began when an unnamed officer at Commonwealth Bank in Campbelltown, Australia, filled the $20 bill canister of an outdoor ATM machine with $50 notes. Hey, those 2s and 5s can be tricky, especially when you’re in a hurry to get to the pub for a pint, y’know?

Perhaps microseconds after the first “lucky winner” made a withdrawal, the hue and cry went out via shouts and cell phone calls, resulting in a mob o’ morons hittin’ the ATM until the freshly stuffed canister was empty, about $48,000 AUS later. Surveillance cameras recorded the joyous parade from the scene.

Shortly after dawn and discovery of the mistake, those revelers were reminded of a sticky little point: You gotta put yer card in to get your “winnings” out, and that little plastic wafer tells the bank — and the police — every detail they need to know about you, and where to find you. Apparently, there were lots of responses like “Duh, what?”

Morons. God must love ’em, ’cause He sure made lots of ’em, huh?

What Goes Around, Comes Around

In 1998, Judge Edwin Collier convicted a guy named Rene Fernandez on a charge of DUI, driving under the influence. Despite the fact that Fernandez had been arrested for DUI twice in the previous three months, Collier released him on probation. Some people thought this was too lenient and might not get Fernandez’s attention. Maybe it didn’t.

Fernandez recently agreed to plead guilty to one count of DUI stemming from an accident in 2009 in Montgomery County, Md. Fernandez seriously injured two people in that accident: Judge Collier, now retired, and his wife, both octogenarians. What goes around, comes around — and sometimes it’s outta control.