I don’t sleep on airline flights because it takes too much Jack Daniels to properly sedate me. And now, there’s another reason not to fall asleep on a flight — even more than the thought of some swarthy dude trying to light a fuse stickin’ out of his sneakers. Here’s a two-word clue: raining maggots.

Oh, yeah. A U.S. Airways flight to New York outta Atlanta had to return to the gate after passengers in and around row 15 kinda excitedly advised attendants that they were bein’ pelted with maggots. Personally, if I had been there, the “keep seat belts fastened” sign wouldn’t have meant squat to me.

The migrating larvae were tumbling out of the overhead luggage compartment. Authorities — maybe a Maggot Emergency Management Team? — later said the wigglers were coming from “spoiled meat” in a passenger’s carry on. The aircraft was taken out of service for swamping and fumigation. The maggot-smuggling passenger was “re-accommodated” on another flight. We’re assuming those rained upon were somehow compensated.

Just a note, U.S. Airways: That wasn’t “spoiled meat.” When maggots come forth like a swarming army crossin’ the ridgeline, it’s rotten meat.